When the heart cries
by BlazingFire18
Summary: What is man's most difficult enemy? I think - His own fears and hidden emotions. But also,these emotions are his vital weapons...These emotions help him to fight his own fear and move on. Roy Mustang x Riza Hawkeye.  Rate and review plz.
1. Chapter 1

Sorry guys for not writing for so many days. I'm so screwed with endless exams. They never seem to end. Such a pain! Anyway, I'm up with a new story,again with my favorite Roy and Riza. I think I'm gonna emphasize on Riza in this one. I hope you'll like it. Don't forget to let me know how you feel because if you don't then I won't be able to know how I'm doing. If you guys hadn't inspired me with so many good wishes during the last time (which was my first),I might not have been able to come up with this. So,arigato. In 'The Unsolved Mystery' my heroes had to fight with external force,in this one they'll have to fight with internal force,their own emotions. I think it's harder to overcome one's own fear than to fight any antagonist. And the fear of losing one's loved one before even getting him/her is worse than anything. So,this is gonna be different from the previous story. Please enjoy. :D

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'_When you are so near the one you love but still unable to express your feelings,it takes all of your strength to keep yourself steady_.' Riza Hawkeye knew this better than anyone......_'When the heart cries,__ you can't hear its scream but__ you can feel the pain__'_

Riza silently peeked at the small cut on Roy's cheek as she followed him through the office door. Yesterday a lot of things had happened and the Colonel had to go through a lot and still he was in time for office. He must be afraid of his _scary Lieutenant_.

Riza tried to suppress a smile but she knew that she had failed doing so because Roy looked back and raised one eye brow. This man sure was something. And he looked really hot when he did that. Riza reflexively looked away as that thought crossed her mind. The pain returned. She sighed as mutely as she could but she knew that that extra-ordinarily gifted man had heard that. But this time the Colonel didn't look back.

Roy took his chair and Riza moved towards the cabinet. She had to prepare a report on the incident that had happened yesterday at the east part of the city. Riza still couldn't believe herself that such a horrible incident had taken place and Roy was unharmed except that mild cut. Scar had appeared again and in one night he had killed 3 state alchemists and Riza shuddered at the thought that the same thing could have happened to Roy yesterday,especially when he had been all alone there. But she also knew that the Colonel was amazing and Scar didn't stand a chance against him though he was able to flee away. Although that didn't matter to Riza even the smallest bit when the Colonel's life was in danger. She wasn't able to sleep through the whole night after hearing what had happened. If anything had happened to that man,she wouldn't be able to live. Her heart ached at that truth.

Riza Hawkeye was like a coconut – tough & harsh in the outside and sweet & soft in the inside. Everyone thought that she wasn't that kind of a woman who would normally fall in love and want to have a romantic time with her beloved. She couldn't blame them for their thoughts. Because they always thought that if anyone ever touched her heart,there would be certain changes in her behavior and that would surely let them know if she was in love. But they always missed one point. They never went through the idea that maybe someone had already touched her heart long before she had even joined the military. They always considered her to be unaware of anything called love. But they could never assume that she had always been in love. Yes,she loved him. And she had known it all along. She had joined the military just for him. He had been her life ever since he was a student of her father. But she could never express her feelings. She knew how soft that person was and she wanted him to be well-cared. She cared for him very much but when it came to the point of being a life partner,she knew that she would not be able to keep him happy. Maybe it was because she knew that the Colonel never thought about her in that way. A lot of girls liked him and it was obvious that he could have already chosen someone for himself if he wanted to. But the Colonel never seemed interested to settle down. The reason was unknown to Riza. Maybe he also waited for someone. The pain increased at that thought. But she had always ignored her own pain. Maybe it wasn't meant to be the two of them to be together. But she wanted to try her best to keep that man safe and happy. He deserved happiness.

Riza heard a false cough behind her and she realized that she had been standing in front of the cabinet all the time without doing anything. She quickly started to look for the file that she had come to search for. As she turned away she almost bumped her head into the Colonel's body and she felt a gush of hormone inside her. She looked at his handsome face without breathing.

'Are you alright?',the Colonel's voice was mild and filled with care. It only increased her pain as she knew that she could never let him know what his words of care did to her. Every cell in her body lived only for him. She loved him unconditionally. But she couldn't deny that the thought of never getting him pained her. And these days things were getting worse. She was losing her facade and her emotions were no longer kept within the boundary. She couldn't look at him and nodded. 'I need to make a report',she said meekly. Roy stood aside and let her go. Riza was feeling really shy at that moment. '_Who knows what the Colonel might be thinking about me standing there all the time doing nothing!!_',she told herself rather angrily. She shook her head and went to her table. She didn't realize that a pair of caring onyx eyes were watching her curiously,if she had looked into those bright eyes,she would have noticed anxiety in there.

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Riza finished the report and gave it to Roy. Roy looked at the report intently and after a few moment he opened his mouth to say something. But what he said was totally unexpected by Riza.

'Go home,Lieutenant.',Roy spoke these words.

Riza was looking out of the window and momentarily turned to the Colonel. 'What?',she exclaimed.

'I said,''Go home"',Roy repeated.

'But why?',Riza asked,she was still shocked.

'I think you need some time for yourself. You seem lost in your thoughts.',Roy was serious.

But Riza had no intention of going home so early. The night was long enough to be away from him. And she wouldn't be able to endure the day too. Maybe the Colonel was anxious because she was standing in front of the cabinet doing nothing. Her ears turned red in shyness.

'I'm sorry about what happened back then. I didn't notice that I was standing in front of the cabinet doing nothing. But I'm alright,sir.',Riza insisted.

'That's not what I meant. You never used to have problems with spellings before,but today you misspelled three words. That's why I think you should take a rest from work. I know I've gotten on your nerves.'

Riza jumped at the last line but the Colonel didn't seem to notice and continued - 'I hope you'll forgive me about last night. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have gone to inspect the dead bodies by myself.'

Now Riza understood. The Colonel felt guilty that if something had happened to him,his Lieutenant would have to go through a lot of formalities and problems. Riza felt relieved that the Colonel couldn't guess the right reason behind her restlessness. He really shouldn't have gone there alone,he should have at least thought what he meant to others. But the fact was that he didn't even know anything. She wanted to caress his cheek to make him feel better,she wanted to tell him that she was scared that she wouldn't see him again. But she couldn't.....

Riza smiled and said,'You're lucky to get back unharmed except that cut. Or else you can't even imagine what I would have done to you.'

Roy chuckled mildly at that,'Yeah,I know and I couldn't sleep the whole night thinking about what was waiting for me the next morning. But thank goodness that I was saved by your strange mood.'

'_He didn't sleep too?_',Riza thought.

'I'm sorry about the spelling problem but you really have gotten on my nerves you know. Give it to me. The correction won't take long.' She stretched her hand to get the report. Well,the reason that she said he had gotten on her nerves was totally different from the way he had meant while saying.

But the Colonel didn't give the sheet to her. 'I'm gonna do the correction. You go and see what Havoc is doing.',Roy replied.

'_The Colonel may still be thinking that I'm not alright_.',Riza told herself but didn't say anything.

But that wasn't the reason...Roy looked at the paper in his hand while Riza walked out of the room. His intelligent eyes hadn't missed the place where the ink was a bit deeper than the rest,as though she had stopped there for some moment. It was his own name – 'Roy Mustang'

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That's the first chapter guys. Please review and send messages. And let's see if Riza overcomes her fear and tells Roy or if Roy also has something to say....... Love you!


	2. Chapter 2

Ah,I don't understand what's my problem...just after I upload my new story,I start to feel as though I've again written a very weird garbage and no one's gonna like it. But I also can't stop writing as it gives me so much pleasure....So,here I'm again!

And sorry for being so late...my written exam's finished today. So,please forgive my delay.

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Roy Mustang looked out of the window as he often did. He watched the time pass by as dusk was brewing. Time never waited for anything. And he knew very well that he wasn't an exception,time wouldn't wait for him as well. He sighed. Maybe it was time for him to take the risk. The risk that would ensure either a new beginning or an ending for him. '_And tomorrow would be the most perfect day to take the risk' ---_ he smiled at himself. But he still feared if he was making a rush,but he couldn't wait any longer...especially after seeing that paper. And he again started to look at the outside,twilight made everything look so holy and peaceful!

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_There he stood...so handsome...so elegant...so-----Riza stretched her hand to touch him,but her hand couldn't reach him....she moved a step forward,but still he wasn't within her reach...she ran toward him...he smiled but looked away...and he started moving forward....Riza started to follow him and she ran....she almost caught him...and then he vanished._

Riza Hawkeye gasped for air. It wasn't the first time that she had dreamed of him. Her every dream revolved around him,but none of them had happy ending. Every time he slipped away.....'_You can't_ _express your feelings when what you sought all this time and it was finally there,you nearly had it and it was taken away from you just like that. It applies to any thing — a person or a dream....'_

Riza stood up and went to the table. She lifted the jug and poured some water in the glass. But she couldn't take her first sip and the doorbell rang. Riza looked at the clock. She had gone to bed early that day but still it was quite late for anyone to pay a visit,especially to her house where nobody comes that much.

She went to her bed again and pulled the revolver from under the pillow. She then went to the main door and cautiously opened it. An old women was standing in front of the door. Riza couldn't recognize the person at first as the light in the corridor was very dim,but when the woman looked at her and smiled,she was so shocked!

'Aunt Mary!!',Riza's expression was dumb-founded.

The woman came forward and hugged her. 'I knew you would be surprised. You have got long hair Riz!!!'

Riza chuckled at that remark. 'Yeah,it must be odd to see me in long hair. And you still call me Riz?'

Aunt Mary made a face and said,'I have never thought of seeing you in long hair,you sure look like your mom. Sis used to have long hair always. Anyway,you have a problem with me calling you Riz?'

'No,no,not at all! It brings back old memories',Riza smiled.

'Won't you let me get in?',Aunt Mary said. Riza was still holding the door and Mary was still standing in the corridor. Riza didn't seem to notice that.

'Oh,I'm sorry. Please come in.',Riza stepped aside.

'You sure don't look like a homebody,at least your house tells me that much.',Mary said while looking at the scattered cartons. The room didn't have much furniture,only a table and two chairs and a sofa.

'Um,well,as I only stay here at night,it really doesn't matter.',Riza said while scratching her head.

Aunt Mary turned back. She had a surprised look on her face. 'Doesn't he say anything? Has he accepted you being so unruly about your home? Anyway,where is he? Still sleeping?'

Riza couldn't understand who she was talking about. 'Who are you talking about,aunt?'

Mary looked more surprised at this. 'What do you mean by that? Of course I'm talking about that student of your father. He's now a Colonel,isn't he?'

'Why would he be here? He has his own apartment... _his one is neater though_',Riza replied innocently.

Mary looked blankly at her niece for a moment and sat on a chair. She didn't talk for a while,so Riza started to panic in the inside. Riza came forward. Mary looked up and ushered her to sit in front of her on the other chair. Riza did so. Mary then looked straight in her eyes and said,'Aren't you guys together?'

Riza's heart bumped at that. She couldn't find words appropriate enough to reply.

So she decided that offense was the best defense and replied with a question – 'Why would you think that? Why would we be together?' She tried to pour as much surprise in her voice as she could.

Riza expected Mary to say something like – 'Oh,so you aren't together!' or 'Oh,I'm sorry,I was mistaken.' But what Mary said was totally unexpected by her.

'Because you two love each other',Mary replied frankly.

Riza's head snapped up at that. Her eyes were bewildered.

Mary smiled gently at her. 'Why don't we go to your bedroom and talk comfortably since no one's there?' And she pulled Riza to the bedroom.

Riza was still unable to talk but she felt good at the warm bed. Black Hayate came following them and climbed up the bed. Mary pulled Riza's head on her lap and started to stroke her hairs. Riza was like her own child to her. Riza closed her eyes in ease.

Mary was the one to break the silence and said,'You thought no one would know,right? I've seen you since you were born till the day you came here to join the military. I knew all along that you loved him.'

Riza opened her eyes and after a few moments finally opened her mouth to say something – ' I don't deny that I love him. But we can't be together.' A tear gleamed in her amber eyes.

'Silly girl,why do you think you guys can't be together? Because of the state of your house? Your mother was worse than you,you know!'

Riza couldn't but smiled at that. 'Yeah,I've probably got that from mom. But that's not the reason. After all he's very neat,and he would do his room himself,I know that much. But that's not it.'

'Then what's the matter?' Mary put some pressure in her words this time.

Riza again closed her eyes and said,'I don't think he loves me.'

Mary chuckled – 'Really Riz,you're such a jerk sometimes. He loves you like you love him.'

'If he loved me,why didn't he ever let me know?',Riza clenched her fingers into a fist.

'Have you let him know that you love him?',Mary whispered in her ears and Riza's eyes shot open.

_Yes,maybe he also feared that she didn't love him....the fear of losing someone even before getting him/her,was just too much to handle. Roy might have had the same problem....could it really be? But Riza felt afraid to hope....Because hopes were sometimes only to be shattered...But still she couldn't help imagining...Maybe there was a chance and maybe she should go for it...and at long last,Riza Hawkeye took the decision._

'Thank you aunt. I know what I should do.'...._she understood now..she was ready for it after all,she only needed to be pushed a little....her restlessness wasn't the sign of her losing control over her emotions..it was a sign that she was reaching there 'finally',where she was ready to take the risk._

Mary simply patted her and riza slipped into a deep sleep.

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Well,please review and let me know of your opinions. I have to say that there's no such character as Mary in either the manga or the anime. The rights and everything about Fullmetal Alchemist belong to Hiromu Arakawa and I just made up that character. Riza was never said to have any aunt or anything. I just made her pop up all on a sudden. Because sometimes people need a little push from a third party to take the right decision. So,please don't mistake her to be real....it's just my imagination and I'm unleashing it as we are said to do :D

Love you guys


	3. Chapter 3

I think I didn't do a good job about the previous chapter..It's my personal opinion....But I was very hyped up and I don't have any justification else than that...but please bear with my weird way of doing things. :D

And I'm sorry for being late again...but I'm sorry. It wasn't intentional.

Riza Hawkeye woke up as the mild ray of sunlight started to peek through the window and play along her soft cheek. She looked at the clock and jumped off the bed. It was already 6 in the morning and she needed to go to office....She hurried to the dining room and saw Black Hayate waving its tail. Mary was already awake and she was making breakfast...Whenever she was around,Riza never had to worry about a single thing....Hayate gave out a mild bark seeing Riza and Mary turned back. She came forward with a huge smile on her face and hugged Riza. Riza was shocked by the sudden hug,but was glad to receive the warm embrace. Her lips stretched into a bright smile.

'Happy Birthday sweetheart',Mary said.

Riza froze in her place. She quickly let go of her aunt. 'Wait,it's my birthday already??',Riza was really shocked.

Mary laughed. 'You're too much, Riz! You always forget your own birthday. Why do you think I decided to pay a sudden visit? I wanted to give you a surprise on your birthday honey!'

_That's right! She was so happy to see her aunt and have the fire of hope rekindled in her heart that she didn't even wonder what the reason might be behind this sudden visit. And it wasn't a new thing that she forgot her own birthday...every year she would forget her birthday and get shocked after reaching her office when everyone would greet her with warm welcome and happy wishes. Still she never forgot one person's birthday...to her that day was even more special than her own birthday...._

'Hello!! Where are you? You seem to have drowned into your own thoughts!',Mary said

'Oh!',Riza came back to reality.

'Listen,I have brought something for you. I have made this myself. Go and see if this fits you. I've put it on the chair in your room. And be quick,breakfast is ready',Mary said.

Riza hugged her aunt and said,'Thank you so much.'

Mary patted her head mildly and Riza went to her room. She found a white top and ash colored skirt on the chair.

'Aunt,you can't possibly think that I would be wearing this in my office!!',Riza came to the kitchen with the clothes in her hand.

'Aren't you allowed to wear anything but uniform?',Mary asked.

'No,that's not it. Many people wear dresses other than uniforms,but I don't. Moreover,this dress is way too much informal.',Riza looked at the clothes.

Mary put a hand on Riza's shoulder and said,'I'm sure your boss I mean _the colonel _won't complain seeing you in this dress and this is gonna be a big day for you. I want you to look perfect and this colors really suit you. I just hope they'll fit.'

Riza remained silent for a moment and then took a deep breath,'Okay,if you insist.'

She went to her room to change...Her mind was so full...She had taken the decision at last..But was it the right choice? Her heart was racing so furiously that she couldn't control...but she had decided to take the risk...and she shouldn't step behind now. She didn't know what would happen....But she knew one thing---she would survive whatever the answer might be....she had gained that belief after she had pointed the gun at Roy when he was blinded by fury to kill Envy. It had taken all her might to raise her hand and point the gun at her beloved man's head,but she knew that he would prefer to die as a good person rather than living a life with a corrupted soul...she also wished the same...she never wanted to see him as a degraded man bound by wrath.......she also knew another thing-----even if she had managed to pull the trigger,one bullet would have ensured two deaths,two lives would have ended----one was her beloved man's and the other was her own. But that man did came back to normal....And Riza was pleased to think that he had listened to her and what he had said that day still ringed in her ears -- _'I can't allow that....I can't afford to lose you'_

Riza finally came out of her room--fully dressed in the new dress.

'Kyaaaa',her aunt exclaimed in happiness.

Riza blushed at that.....It was hard to see her blush usually...Oh,well,nowadays she wasn't the usual Riza,was she?

'You look so beautiful Riz!! And I'm so proud of myself. Looks I haven't lost the magic yet... The dress is perfect'....Mary smiled smugly.

Riza smiled too,'The dress is very nice. Anyway,I think I should go now. Please wish me best. I'm so nervous.'

Mary rolled her eyes,'First time heard that you're nervous. You really are too much Riz!'

Riza made a face and took her bag. A few moments later she was walking down the street with a lot of emotions in her heart.

And half an hour later a woman with a familiar face but with an unfamiliar appearance stepped in the East HQ of Amestris. Many pairs of eyes followed that pretty lady but she could not feel any of them until she opened the door of a certain office. As if every cell of her body wanted to resonate to a certain penetrating gaze. She looked at the space where she expected to meet that gaze. Her eyes were full of so many feelings.......But when she looked at that direction,only a few of those feelings remained there...And those were----sorrow,despair and emptiness......Because that certain man wasn't there and his certain chair was left empty just like her heart.

[So,now what? Will her heart break just like that? Please wait for the next chapter..Love ya guys]


	4. Chapter 4

Riza stood motionless for a few moments at the door. She could hear voices behind her but didn't care to look back. Her plans have shattered. But before she could control herself,suddenly two arms wrapped her from behind and astonished her.

'Happy birthday Riza! You look so awesome!',the one who had embraced her greeted her with a bright smile.

'Oh,Maria!',Riza quickly controlled herself and tried to put up her usual attitude.

Maria Ross wore a brilliant smile on her face and tried to tease Riza,'Why are you looking disheartened? Were you expecting the arms to be of someone else? Huh?'

Riza was accustomed to Maria's daily teasing but today somehow she felt disgusted,maybe because somehow those words were true. But, she knew how to control her temper. Moreover,now she noticed that Havoc,Breda,Fuery,Falman-all were standing in the corridor. Havoc's eyeballs had almost popped out of their sockets as he admired the Lieutenant. The others were looking typical though they all had various packets in their hands. When Riza looked at them,all but Havoc came forward,wished her and gave her the packets. Riza was feeling happy though her heart was in pain-they never forget her birthday.

'Will you keep looking like that or go and give her the present?',Breda asked Havoc.

'Oh,uh,I'm sorry...Lieutenant,this is for you.'

'Thank you Havoc. Thanks to all of you. I really appreciate it.',Riza tried to give a warm smile.

'But,I don't understand one thing. I've never seen Riza in civil dress in office. What's the matter,huh? Going somewhere?',Maria started to tease Riza again. The others joined too.

'Snap out of it guys. You all know that I don't date. It's just that yesterday suddenly my aunt came to visit me and this is a gift from her. She had made it herself.',Riza said.

'Wow,this is awesome. Your aunt should be a fashion designer,you know!',Maria looked at the dress.

'You mean,you're not going out. Then why not go out with me? Today everything seems perfect.',Havoc tried to take a chance.

'Here we have him again trying to persuade the hard-core Lieutenant. You never give up,do you Havoc?',Breda was as usual sarcastic about Havoc's fruitless attempt.

_Thousands of thoughts engulfed Riza's mind again...'Havoc says today everything is perfect,huh? But to me today everything is seeming to be far away from perfect ...How can my special day be special for me when the special person is not around?'_

'I have forgotten to ask. I don't see the Colonel around. Can anyone tell me where he is?' Riza asked.

'The Colonel said that he had some personal work to do and he has taken today's day off. We thought you knew.',Maria's expression was perplexed.

Riza was astonished to hear that. '_Colonel had taken a day off? And it had to be today? What a broken luck I have!'_...'Did he take the leave yesterday?'

'I don't know. He had phoned this morning to inform us that he had talked to the authority and taken today's leave. We all thought that he had told you before. Now it seems he had some urgent work. Otherwise he surely would have informed you!',Maria said.

'No,no,it's alright. Why would he need to inform me especially when he had urgent work to do? Moreover he had called to inform us all,right?'Riza tried to act in a matter-of-fact way. Falman and Fuery were silent all the time. Because they both had noticed that something was different about the Lieutenant that day. Especially now she looked like she was trying hard to hide something.

Falman gave a mocking cough and said,'Why don't we go and do our jobs now? We can't be lazy because the Colonel isn't around.'

Maria was going to open her mouth to oppose but she caught the signal of Havoc's eye and decided to abide. Havoc had understood that Falman wanted to give the Lieutenant some time for herself. Havoc was an intelligent man and when he was out of the daydream that Lieutenant could go to a date with him,he also noticed that she wasn't really herself.

When they all went away,Riza came to her desk and rested her head on her arm. So many questions were unanswered,so many doubts were re-awakened. Her confidence was gone again...She started to feel that her decision of confessing was a mistake...Thousands of things were on her mind..._'What could be so urgent? Why didn't he even tell me? Maybe he didn't find it important to inform me personally...Really,who am I to him? He must think me just as a subordinate...All his kindness towards me must be pity that he felt for me due to the Ishval war...or maybe it was because I was the daughter of his teacher and I was the one who showed him the secrets of Flame Alchemy...I am not that beautiful...I am not the perfect wife that any man would desire...I am not worthy of him...'-_All these thoughts attacked her again...more vicious this time and Riza could not take any more..._'Why did it have to happen? Why did I hope? Why did I even get dressed up hoping to look beautiful to him? Why?I had finally taken the decision...I was ready to endure the pain if I was rejected...But look,I didn't even get the chance to hear his voice today...Why do I feel so empty? Why?'..._She felt moisture in her eyes...She didn't try to stop the flow...slowly the sleeve of her top and then the desk got stained with her tears...

Riza woke up and found herself in the same position as before-she was still resting her head on her arm. She looked at her wrist-watch and got shocked..._'I was sleeping for such a long time? I must have fallen asleep while crying.'_... And she remembered why she was crying..._'looks like nobody came to look for me...as usual I am not allowed to do any work on my birthday...But they never left me alone before...well,I'm thankful that they _did'...She had always been very grateful to have such compassionate and understanding colleagues...As she tried to sit up,her body ached..._'Ow,I have slept so long in this awkward position that now my body's aching and I have got strange marks on my cheek from my sleeve...they should have woken me up' _...Riza finally looked around the room...Nothing has changed...She decided to go to the washroom and wash her face. In this HQ there was an washroom attached to the Colonel's office. Riza didn't usually use that washroom-out of courtesy. But today the Colonel wasn't here and she could use that one. Moreover it would be better for her to use that one now because if she went to the general washroom now,everyone would start asking a bunch of questions...people from other departments would be especially curious seeing her in civil dress. So Riza walked to the attached washroom and she suddenly saw something... Her heart started to beat so furiously that she was afraid that it could be heard by normal human ears. It was a black overcoat hanging loosely in a hanger..._'Maybe Colonel had left it yesterday...But was he wearing this one?This one looks different.' _And then Riza heard the sound of water coming from the basin that stood on the other side of the door. '_Did he really come?'_ Her breath caught and then the door opened...'_It's him...He's come...',_so many emotions swelled in her mind that words weren't enough. She just looked at that beautiful face,the face that she longed to see.

'Ah,you're awake. First time saw you sleeping in office...I'm not the only one then...',he chuckled and Riza looked mesmerized.

'When did you arrive Colonel?',Riza asked.

'Um,it's not been long...15 minutes or so?',Roy replied.

'Why didn't you wake me up?'Riza's voice was stern.

'You kindda look cute while sleeping you know...I didn't want to bother you...And it was a surprise to see you in a dress like this...But it suits you.',Riza blushed at that comment which she herself felt unnecessary. _'Looks like my dressing up in a different way wasn't completely in vain...But whatever! I don't think I would ever appeal him...He probably doesn't even remember that it's my birthday...'_...Riza started to have negative thoughts again...and the emptiness returned.

'Um,Lieutenant,are you busy today?',Roy asked hesitantly.

'Huh? Oh,no,no,I don't have any work...'...Riza was almost going to say that others didn't let her do any work because it was her birthday,but she restrained herself...A part of her wanted to be greeted by him while another part was stubborn to not let him know that she wanted to be wished by him and the latter one won...'...if I had work,I wouldn't be sleeping on my desk',she mumbled mutely.

Roy chuckled,'Come on already. You don't have to be mad at yourself for sleeping on your desk. It's a part of work for a military dog...Oh,I was just joking. Don't look at me like that! Anyway,I wasn't talking about any official work. I meant if you were busy today after work.'

Riza was surprised to hear that. For the second time in the same day she was being asked the same question — first by Havoc and now the Colonel..._'Of course Colonel's and Havoc's intention can't be same...not that I would mind if it was'... _She asked,'Why?'

'I was asking because you don't usually dress up like that...So,I thought you might have any program to attend after the office time.'

_'Just as I thought...his intention was not at all like Havoc's'_...'No,it's nothing like that. I actually decided to dress up like this to keep my aunt's request. She has come to visit me yesterday.'

'Perfect. Then would you mind going to a place with me?',Roy asked in a serious way.

Riza was speechless..._'Colonel's asking me to go with him? Where? Never mind...I'm ready to go to hell with him'_...so Riza didn't spend a moment to reply and said,'Ok,no problem.'

Roy smiled and said,'Let's go then'.

Roy and Riza came out of the HQ building. When they were walking down the corridor together,many people were looking at them curiously...It's not like they hadn't seen them walking together before,but today something was different and Riza's fancy dress up added oil to their curiosity. Riza felt hot around her ears...They finally arrived at the main road and to Riza's surprise Roy didn't go towards his car. Instead of that he continued walking. As usual Riza followed him without any question. Riza watched carefully and noticed that the Colonel's dress up slightly different than usual too..._'It must be because he had some personal work to accomplish. But I wonder where we are going...It's a good opportunity to tell him what I have been wanting to tell him...But should I? What if my decision is wrong? Maybe I was being childish...Do I even deserve him? And what if he laughs at me?'..._Riza again started to have random thoughts and didn't notice where she was heading.

'Hey,are you even listening to me?',Roy asked Riza.

'Huh?',Riza was startled.

'I've never seen you so lost like this. Are you alright?',Roy was anxious.

'I'm fine. Where are we going anyway? You haven't told me anything.',Riza tried to change the topic.

'You'll see for yourself. We are almost there.',Roy said.

And Riza could see something from the side of his face. _'Was the colonel looking a bit nervous? Or what was that expression on his face? Who knows what he is up to!'_...but Riza didn't say anything and decided to follow the Colonel without any question. Soon they reached a cottage like place situated on the bank of the river that flowed in a zigzagged way through the chest of Amestris. The place was quiet,peaceful,serene and really beautiful. Roy stopped under a big Sakura tree that stood beside the cottage. One part of the roof was covered by beautiful petals of sakura.

'Wow,this place is so beautiful.'.Riza said.

'Indeed. This is a place where people come to find peace of mind. I heard that a gentleman had built this cottage and he used to use this place to meditate. I often come here when I can't control my mind and desperately need some peace. It's easier to focus on things when I'm here. And this is the place where I first met Sensei.',Roy said.

Riza was shocked. 'You mean my father? I never knew that he used to come here.'

'Sensei was very depressed when your mother passed away and I think he knew the man who had built this place. I was living here then because I was looking for a teacher who could teach me alchemy and I didn't know anyone in this city. That was how I met your father. He became fond of me and accepted me as his student. This place holds a very special meaning for me.',Roy said and he could see tear sparkling in Riza's eyes. He continued,'You must be wondering why I have brought you here today or why I haven't told you anything all these years. I have so many things to tell you and I don't know how to say. So I think I should be very straight.', Roy could see so many unspoken questions in her bright,tearful eyes...'I come here once in a year and the date has always been same as today's.',Roy took a breath and looked at her.

Riza finally spoke,'Every year on this very same date? But why?'

Roy took a long moment to answer. 'Because this is the most special day for me. You think I never remember your birthday,don't you?'

Riza's heart started to thump so hardly that she feared it would burst any moment. 'You remember it's my birthday?'

Roy smiled,'Yes,I remember and I wanted to wish you in my own way. I come here every year on your birthday and light a candle under this sakura tree. One day while sitting under this tree your father told me that he had a daughter who was as cute as the sakura flower.'

Riza didn't know what she should say...Her mind was having trouble to handle so many things together...Riza felt like she was in a dream,'My father said that? And you do that for me?'...Her voice broke.

'Uhu,I don't do that for you...I do that for the most precious woman in my life. I've finally admitted it.',Roy looked blankly at her.

Riza couldn't say anything for a few moments and decided to say what she wanted to say to this special man-'I wanted to tell you something...I had a hard time to take the decision but yesterday I had decided to confess ...that...',Riza couldn't find any more word. Roy looked at her face questioningly...Riza waited for a minute,then took a deep breath and looked straight in his face - 'Roy,I love you.'

It was hard for Roy to believe his own ears. It was the first time that she had used his name directly. Her voice had such strong feelings,power and he knew that it was true. But still he couldn't believe what he just heard...He looked at her angelic face and finally said,'I don't know if I even deserve you but I'm so selfish...I think you already know what my answer is...Don't you,Riza?'

Riza neither moved nor replied. She was waiting and Roy understood why. So, he took a step forward,held her hand and said,'You can't imagine what you mean to me...I wish Hughes was alive...He would be so happy to hear me saying this to you - I love you Riza.'

Riza burst into tears and dipped her head in his chest...Her honest tears told so many things that the words could never express. Tears didn't always derive from sorrow...As rain can be needed for the survival of nature,sometimes tears are needed to flow the feelings of a human heart. Roy held his beloved close to his heart and watched as her tears turned into a bright smile...As though sunshine appearing after slight rain...rain that washed away all the differences and doubts...and sunshine that gave new vigor...Riza opened her mouth and said,'Aunt Mary was right. There's no love that can never be. We all just need to be true to our feelings.'...Then they both lit a candle under the Sakura tree that was so full with flowers and they started to walk down the road once again. This time with hand in hand. They walked towards happiness waiting for them...

Roy had gifted her a bunch of flowers that day and he said that he had taken the day off because he was trying to decide whether to tell her or not. But he realized that people needed to take some risks some times and thanks to that he was now with his beloved person.

There are always ups and downs in life. To overcome the obstacles,one has to first overcome his own doubts and fears. Otherwise it's never possible to reach the goal. And people should learn to hope though there's fear that hopes can be shattered and no matter what they need to move ahead. Because the sky might be cloudy but there's always a sun shining behind it.

[That's it guys. You can scold me if this wasn't worth reading. And I'm sorry if it's not good. Please review and let me know. Msgs are welcome too.

And please remember guys,this fanfic is about Riza and her feelings and I wanted to show that despite the insecurity that she felt,she had the courage to confess first. And if you notice closely you'll see that Roy has also waited a long time to have the courage and profess to her. And he finally did that...BUT...he had gained that courage from RIZA-remember the first chapter where he saw his name on the sheet and noticed that it was a bit darker? He wasn't such an idiot and understood that he must be very very important to her that she was so much troubled that he could be endangered. He also had the same difficulties as Riza while taking the step forward,but he did. But Riza is the queen of this little fanfic of mine and so her feelings were emphasized. So,this whole thing actually revolves around Riza and I hope I could establish her feelings. Thank you]


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